Anonymous asked:
Do you still get on here? You know who this is

is this Paige??? 


I’m actually in a much happier place than ever before in my life and I’m ready to cross paths with someone I treated like shit in my earlier years.

Paige W. El, please msg me on here w/your email. or IG me (@funkyoutoo)….. or something.

I dreamed of you last night and it’s urgent that we reconnect. please. I’m in a better place now and I need to properly express myself to you this time around. something continues to draw me back to you, Paige. i love you, not knowing how, or when…but so dependably, i am shifted between desire & obscurity. it’s absolutely crazy seeing as how the last time I saw you was three, almost four years ago and yet I can still remember how incrediblly tense I felt to be sitting on that blanket with you, waiting for the fireworks to start, going over things to say in my mind, and trying so hard not to come off as desperate or ….make believe.
truth is, I was make believe then. I peeled off the exterior only long enough to change into another bc I was so afraid of who I actually was. I still remember that email you sent me saying, “The only sin is turning your back on love because of what other people think.” I wish I would have taken heed. maybe then I wouldn’t be on a witch hunt for you every few months.

anywho, I don’t want to make this longer than it already is..
if I got another shot, at even just being your friend, I wouldn’t take it for granted. truly. please, reach out to me. soon.


I wish I could say I’m back for good, but this blog would really hinder my progress.

maybe I’ll update you all in a few more months. but for now ..

xxxxxxx! take care of yourselves, babieeees!

Anonymous asked:
Hi! I was just clearing out inactive blogs and came across yours on my follow list. I never usually click before unfollowing, but somehow I ended up on your page. I read through your story and I have to tell you that you're more valuable than you know you are. Keep fighting. For your girlfriend, your mom, your manager--These are all people that have expressed that they care for you. Most importantly, though, do it for yourself.

thankyou. I must admit, the first month was rough because I was doing this for everyone else’s sake - in fact, I managed to lose more weight before I started putting it on. but I’m getting better everyday and I finally have started putting myself first. I appreciate your kind words. really. 


this is the last picture. I took this today because I felt pretty. tehe.

I’ve attended a few parties the last couple months. I got super drunk this night and told the guy to the right of me that I have an ED. he told me from now on, he’s buying me whatever I want for lunch when we work on the same days. I still don’t know how to take that, but I guess he’s cool for not saying anything fucked up. oh, and he really does pay for all my lunches. lol

this is literally the best person I work with. we’re both into dead things. lol. and she’s always pulling me out the house to get drunk with her.

this is another friend I made at work. he’s always telling me I’m “gawgeous”. lol

I’m finally making friends at work. in fact, I’m a brides maid in this girl’s wedding.

I no longer fear beer. in fact, I buy Pabst and Yuengling like all the time. and I have not yet gotten a beer belly =^.^=

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